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Things I Learned As A Military Wife & Mother That Prepared Me For Living For God

The most important thing I learned during my husband’s military career is that it’s not about me.

The military just as God does, has a mission. The mission of the United States military is to fight and win our nations wars. God’s mission is to fight for us and to lead us to Heaven. God’s mission is greater than me or anything!

I am a reflection of my soldier.

My husband’s reputation among his peers had a lot to do with how our sons and I carried ourselves. Respect is earned through integrity and good character. Respect was vital for my husband to be successful in his job. We realized our place and we maintained it. We carried ourselves in a manner in which my husband’s peers knew he was a man of both integrity and good character.

There are guidelines and regulations in place for safety and to support the mission.

Without these regulations soldiers go awry. There is unity among soldiers when rules are in place and adhered to regardless of one’s opinion of that policy. These policies and regulations were not open to personal interpretation. They were black & white without any gray areas.

The Bible is full of guidelines to keep us on the path to eternal salvation. If we choose to overlook or ignore any of these guidelines, it could cost us our salvation. God is just and equal in judgement to each of us.

Disrespect was not tolerated.

In the military if you were disrespectful to anyone in leadership, there were consequences. Often, those being disrespectful were admonished very publicly. Sometimes the admonishment was done vocally, through physical fitness, through after-hours duty or in extreme circumstances, monetarily. However, the soldier was admonished, disrespect was never acceptable.

Romans 13:1-5 Tell us that those in authority are chosen of God. The Bible clearly tells us to respect our spiritual leaders. Numbers 12:8 says God spoke face to face with Moses and not in riddles. Who are we to criticize God’s servants?

Soldiers are very outspoken and blunt.

This is probably my favorite attribute of military life. With a soldier, you always knew where you stood. If you had “beef” with someone, you went to that person and you talked it out. Backbiting was minimal. It wasn’t necessary to pretend. Sometimes you just agreed that you didn’t care for each other, but you still continued to work together unified for the mission of the United States military.

Jesus was very outspoken and blunt but he, unlike soldiers, always spoke with love. He spoke and then he moved on. One of my favorite attributes of Jesus is that he is on my side even when I am wrong. However, I’m still subject to his corrections.

Your uniform matters.

A soldier’s uniform reflects the level of discipline he is at. A soldier’s uniform is universal regardless of one’s rank. They wear the same uniform, have the same footgear, same headgear and same guidelines for their hair. When I saw a soldier, I knew whose side he was on, and I knew what he stood for. To this day, I can spot a soldier just by his/her haircut.

If we think Jesus doesn’t care what we wear and what we look like, we are kidding ourselves. He is a God who designed the Tabernacle down to the thread count, the color of the thread, to the type of wood and the clothing of the priest. No, I don’t believe in rubber stamping us with the same color clothing, same lengths or even same shoes. But God does require unity and modesty. You should be recognized as being separate from the world.

If Jesus didn’t care what we look like, why would he bother cleaning us up and forgiving our sins?

We must be prepared.

Per my husband, the 5 p’s of life are Proper Preparation Prevents Poor Performance. As a soldier you always have to be ready, as in combat ready. Preparing now for uncertainty ahead helps to mitigate problems that may arise and sets us up for success.

Matthew 25:1-13 is the parable of the 10 virgins waiting for the bridegroom. Only five of the virgins prepared ahead and had enough oil in their lamps. We must be prepared. We don’t know when our door will close.

Provisions.

In return for a soldier’s dedication and sacrifice, certain provisions were given. We were given an income, housing and medical insurance. Another provision I used was counseling. It felt good to pour my heart out to a counselor until I regained my strength.

Philippians 4:19 reminds us that God will supply our every need. He provides for our physical needs, spiritual needs, our healing, our counseling, anything we may need.

Conclusion.

Submission to both military life and God didn’t come easy for me. In fact, I told God I was going to do it my way. In essence, he did let me do it my way. Once I wanted to please God, he let me, and I’ve never regretted it. I haven’t missed my old life even one bit. Life is better now. I know who I depend on, and I trust Him.

In part, as a current military mom, mom to a veteran and wife to a veteran, I’m still living the military life. It’s a great honor to serve both God and country.

Life Things

It’s Time to Refocus

RefocusWhen the Lord led me to blogging last year, I was full of goals and aspirations. I truly felt Like I had a lot to say! Ha! After the recent curve ball life sent my way, I lost my words. Most people blog through their pain, but I fell silent.

I would love to be able to tell you everything is behind me and that all is well, but I can’t. But what I can say is that God has been with me the entire time and has never left my side. He’s a steadfast God!

During a recent meltdown I confided to a friend that I was having a relapse of emotions. I was feeling a gloom that just wouldn’t lift. She told me I needed to refocus and to ask myself two questions: 1) How much of this is my responsibility and 2) How much of this can I control? I’m so thankful for that chat.

Once I began to internally answer these questions with great honesty, I released myself from that burden. I can’t control the actions and words of others so I began to refocus on what is important and profitable for me.

Because I have changed my focus, I will be blogging more often. My husband and I began a “new thing” in January and I will be sharing that with you all real soon.

God Bless You All

Lisa

Life Things

Waiting for the dance

 

Ecclesiastes 3:4

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.

Often, life sends curve balls that we can’t avoid. We find ourselves in a life or flight scenario and must pick one option, life or flight. We must learn how to adjust and do a new thing.

Several months ago, our family was broad-sided with a curve ball when a close family member declared they were dis-associating from the family to pursue their own thing, their own desires and their own path.  Of course, we encouraged this person to pray about this decision and we voiced our concerns. It was too late; their mind had been made up. We were certain this would be a temporary thing. We have faced rough patches before, no biggie. Unfortunately, the situation escalated, worsened and continues to worsen.

For now, we learn to grieve the living, for now we learn to share family members separately, now we learn to sit in the same room week after week and ignore each other, for now we learn to keep the tears from public eye, for now we learn to remain silent,  for now we learn to keep our hearts in a place of love and forgiveness.

I’m not sure how this type of thing happens to God fearing families. I wish I knew how God-fearing Christians could do this to someone else. I just don’t know.

But God has not changed. What was meant to kill me has made me stronger. I feel stronger each day. One day I will be able to stand with someone else, encourage them, pray with them and let them know this is just a temporary place.

For now, I continue to trust God’s heart, for now I continue to pray, for now I lean not on my own understanding, for now I wait for dawn, for now I wait for a time to dance.

Money Things

Learning To Budget

My husband likes to say that I have impeccable organization skills. Oh, if he only knew! He would be so very disappointed! Ha!

One of the things I knew I would have to face when I quit my job was a budget and sticking to it! I really wish I could tell you that I was able to ace it last month, but I ultimately failed! Maybe failed is being too hard on myself, more like it was a learning curve.  I’m not discourage because I know it can take a few months to adjust. There were some categories I forgot to add and some I didn’t think were important at the time but were very important. I also put too little in some categories, one of those being food and household items. It will balance out, I hope.

When I say the word budget, I automatically think, limitations. A budget is giving me permission to spend. For instance, if I have $50 in my clothing budget, I have $50 to spend without affecting the integrity of my other categories. I remember one day I needed to buy a gift for someone. I had absolutely no issues paying for a gift because I had the money set aside to pay for the gift. In the past, I would struggle. I wasn’t sure if this purchase would make it more difficult to pay for something else later.

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I use a few tools for my budgeting and bill paying. First, I keep a list of all our obligations. Then, using my Erin Condren Deluxe Monthly Planner, I use these stickers  to put the name and amount of the obligation on the coordinating day of the month. Some are color coded. For example, orange represents tithes, yellow represents offerings and the red color represents utility bills. I’m a visual person so this works great for me. When I pay that item, I simply put a check mark on it to mark it paid. Also, don’t forget to budget your spending money. Nothing should be left out.

One of my favorite tools is Every Dollar. I input our income and add the dollar amounts to each category. I adjust as needed until it all balances out. God always gives us what we need, we must learn to manage it properly.

I hope something here has helped someone. I have been needing to get very serious about a budget and now I’m amid prime need.

If you would like to try using the Erin Condren planners, use this link to receive $10 off your first order. I also receive $10 off my next purchase.

Home Things

We Ate At The Dinner Table

IMG_4780[1783]We moved to our new home about 2 years ago. We are empty nesters with some unused spaces, our formal dining room being one of those spaces. There has only been one time that anyone has eaten at that table. That one time was within three months of move-in.

Our dining room has a serene view of a duck pond, neighbors taking a stroll and the occasional passing car. It has the best view but it was a room we only passed by without any regard.

Last weekend, I went against habit and we ate dinner in our formal dining room. Yes, it was awkward at first but I enjoyed the “people watching”. Dinner had a view and dinner took on new joy.

At times, we disregard that which will make us feel better because we are stuck in our rut of habit. My goal and purpose is to break out of that rut.